Wednesday 23 December 2015

It's that time of the year ...

How often, when you've asked a friend or colleague about the kind of Christmas they spent do you get the reply 'Quiet.'? Or 'It was just the family.' Or even 'There was a huge argument.'

I have a theory that many of us have this image in mind of the exciting Christmases other people are enjoying - cocktails, sparkly dresses, friends and neighbours dropping by, the perfectly decorated tree, house and table, immaculately chosen and packed presents, the perfectly cooked lunch, the wonderful buffet snacks served by a serene and polished host and hostess. All heavily fueled by advertising and social media. And I'm not knocking that. I love the shiny adverts and shop displays,with their lavish escapism and the promise of sparkle and glitter to lift a dark and depressing time of the year. And a lot of us achieve some of that perfection, some of the time. But on the whole life, unfortunately, is a lot messier. The over or under-cooked turkey, the warring relatives, the hectic last minute rush and scramble. We've all been there. The point where 'Quiet.' looks like an excellent idea.

Life. Much messier.

And a lot sadder. There are wars and suffering that never seem to end, but at the moment I'm thinking closer to home. Of the empty place at the table where a loved one used to sit.

Last Christmas was probably the most stressful I have ever experienced. Actually there was no Christmas. The food was bundled into the freezer, the presents into the spare bedroom. They didn't come out again until March.

This Christmas will be one of the saddest, I have spent.

For all those who will have an empty place at their  table this year I wish you good memories and healing and hope for the future.

8 comments:

  1. Dear Evonne, sending you a big virtual hug and hopes for a happier New Year. Our Christmas hangs in the balance too and like you, there is an empty place at our table which time never fills, although the arrival of Smallest Person means, if all goes ahead, there'll be a high chair at the table instead. Hope for the future indeed. Thinking of you, Cx

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    1. Thanks Chris. I hope you manage a warm and wonderful day.

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  2. The empty space at my table is for my Dad and though it's been 6 years now, it is this time of year when I feel the loss most keenly. I hope you manage some peace at Christmas - but a few laughs, too, because your mum would have wanted that. Thinking of you, Evonne xx

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    1. Thanks Kathryn. Support from friends means a lot.

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  3. This time of year can be difficult, especially when coping with mixed emotions. The first Christmas for my son and me, after his dad was no longer with us passed in a kind of blur. I don't think I can add anything better than has already been said by Chris and Kathryn. It was lovely to see you last week, Evonne, and I know lots of people are thinking of you at this time xx

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    1. Thanks Sandra. It was good to see you last week too. Hope you have a happy holiday.

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  4. Thinking of you, Evonne. Take care. X

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    1. Thanks Jan. Hope you had a good time over the holiday.

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